bye bye wreck ( stripping )
+++
went for my wee meeting
with th quasi government organisation
that signs off on me
no worries
+++
picked up a guy hitchhiking
on th way home
we'd been talkin about karma in th meeting
and ppl stoppin on th highway
he was virgin
first time he's ever hitched
funny
+++
i was tellin th tale
earlier this mornng
of th time
i went to test my karma
jumped in th car
put a jerry can in th boot
didnt fill it with petrol
and hit th highway
ran out of fuel
and started walkin
got ten feet
and a truck pulls
up
and we have one of those
yeah i stop for ppl
conversations
put five bucks of premium in th jerry can
walk across th highway
i get five feet
no thumb out
a ute stops
a workin guy
and he drops me back opposite my car
and he and i
had almost th same conversation
i stop for ppl
so i walked fifteen steps
and crossed th highway twice
and then
got back in my car
and spent th next week
ridin on all th northern beaches
on my unicycle
havin a holiday
felt good
+++
gotaa keep an ear out
for th truck
comin to pick up
th wreck
out of th front yard
it's mik's old car
i've taken th engine for my car
and a couple of bits
bin hurtin me
havin that car there
be good to see it go
+++
come on
th guy was tellin tales to my girlfriends
not ****in one
eventually
it's gunna rankle to th point
nah man
i'm not bringin around any more of my girlfriends
for you to make friends with
you got a bad attitude
he complained
how ya gunna be my friend ?
i went home and thought about it
yur right
we're not friends anymore
i've complained about this before
you spinnin **** to my girlfriends
not everything that comes out of yur mouth
is truth brother
sorry
+++
u got one of my old sidecars as a trade man
i dont want it back
and ya can keep th fridge
and my old stepladder
when i was stayin at yur place
and you'd walk in th door
and go
give us th jesus stick man
and plonk in front of th telly
and
didnt matter what i was watchin
how could ya man ?
u lived in my house
did i behave that way ?
i seem to recall
you'd walk in
and demand what you wanted to watch
make my kids vote
like it was a ****in democracy
which it wasnt
i payed th bills
i never treated you like that
+++
"most of th bills"
that woman could spend money
that didnt exist
better than any other i've ever met
+++
and she didnt respect my sensitive testicles
she can get ****ed
+++
thought i was ****in th chick across th road
yur as bad as jane
judged and sentenced
with no ****in
proof
+++
oh yeah
and mik's wife
tellin jane
that i had
phone ***
with
karen
sorry
she prefers karen
while
i was with both my ex wives
ah no
i ****ing didnt
dj
you can go and get ****ed
no friend of mine
+++
some ppl
shouldnt have friends
+++
are ya my friend or hers ?
why ya tellin her tales ?
+++
i dont give a **** you;re unhappy about yur life
i work at mine
i ride a unicycle
would u do that
if you had hypersensitive testicles ?
or would ya sit in front of th telly
complaining
+++
****ed if i know
or care
+++
my XF falcon
is runnin like a dog this morning
hates unleaded
loves premium
sorry ralph floyd
+++
drivin nice though
ready for th highway again
soon as i get some money
+++
might go see morticia
like last year
couple of days before xmas
and if she wont **** me
i know a couple of other
divorcee women
in that complex
i used to drink and dance with
+++
i copped to it
i started stayin down th coast
cause i was livin at miks
after th wife took everything
and i wasnt comfortable
mostly though
it was cause
he took
nine phone calls
a day
from my wife
and he'd say
what he thought
was a painful time
morticia was studyin to be a counsellour
which helped
+++
that nine phone calls a day
was killin me man
she made fourteen a day
to other ppl
spinnin ****
we couldnt afford two
and i was feedin
her daughters boyfriend
for nine months
and th ****head didnt contribute
a cent
nearly punched him in th head
when i said
you pay fifty board
or you **** off
and he got agro
i was feedin
four kids
one of em mine
and workin as a truck driver
and my wife didnt give a **** about my testicles
born too late i guess
no real women left anymore
+++
maybe i'll find an older chick
last two girlfriends were older than me
+++
"and ya dropped both of em at th same time"
i couldnt afford em
especially versace lady
*** costs money
always
+++
"morticia was pretty ****in good"
and eighty k's away
"should have taken up her girlfriend's offer to move into her place"
i was goin out with both of them too
just mad
+++
i wanna see u too babe
+++
have some awful fond memories
of screwin
twelve times in a weekend
+++
"and ya still got a message of luv"
"written on paulie's bedhead"
+++
it should say
i came
i saw
i apologised and cleaned up th mess
+++
"stripping"
no
+++
"she wanted a **** calendar"
no
+++
"go and sit on her verandha ****d again"
+++
maybe stay with womble a night
do a bit of singin
+++
"i know who you wanna see"
won;t happen
+++
i'm keepin a bonnet
not much else
and i'll probably use that in a paddock
behind a car
for old time's sake
+++
found a quarter bud
in th car
when i got home
th hithchie offered me a smoke
if i had a pipe in th car
not today
i'm out
ah well
+++
have more thursday
just avoid women till then
+++
i went out with morticia
for like three years
as a weekend girlfriend
goin to see my
beautiful
polynesian girlfriend
down th edge of th island
+++
she's pretty cool
could land on th door
at five am
after bein out singin all night
to other pretty girls
and she'd **** me silly
within five minutes of me goin
hi babe
i miss th all girl parties ok
didnt see me straight too often did ya ?
****in testicles
+++
no *** change now babe
th doctors have backed off
say i'm doin
everything i can do
happy
with what i'm doin
and um
sayin my pot habit
is th least of my concerns
hey
he even said they didnt know how to look after my body
don't know how we'd incarcerate you
+++
glad of that
+++
it's all good
+++
"As long as jane stays away"
+++
there is that
too ***y
too ****in scatter brained
and been pretty too long
+++
"and ****ing deaf to boys"
most girls are that
+++
look
just dont land me in another bed
with a woman i'm not ****ing ok
"ok"
+++
"you'll do it again"
+++
"you know ya will"
+++
with lotsa drugs
"naturally"
"it's ****in torture"
+++
ok
i'm outta here
wanna go for a ride on th unicycle
while i'm still stoned
first ten minutes is ****ed
bye
..
..
..
the land surfer...
+++
p.s.
comfortably numb
